Two men were marooned on an Island.
One man passed back and forth worried and scared while the other man sat back and was sunning himself.
The first man said to the second man, “aren’t you afraid we are about to die.”
“No,” said the second man, “for you see I make $100,000 per week and I tithe faithfully to my church ever week
My Pastor will find me.”
2nd joke of the day: A elderly man goes into confession
A elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest,
“Father, I’m 80 years old, married, have four kids and eleven healthy grandchildren, and last night I had an affair with two 18 year old girls. I made love with both of them… twice.”
The priest said, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?”
“Never Father… I’m Jewish.”
“So then, why are you telling me?”
“I’m telling everybody!”